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It has been an infernal stretched, run amuck long time. This month has been creeping along, my hypothesis is that it will never end. I want to get to a new month just to prove to myself that life can continue after turnarounds. But I know time is moving even though it may only be squirming awkwardly in it's chair because my flowers are dying. 

I'm trying some new things. Simple humdrum ideas to pull my creativity out of the mire, like reading every day, slowing down and spending more time in thought and writing. Yesterday I bought a new red journal and now to use it and persevere. I have to keep digging deep within myself to stay on the high hill and out of the black cave I came from.

Things have been busy but we are still finding some sort of time. We have a date once a week. Last night we went to Applebee's and then to Starbucks to share an Americano and read our book together, which is almost over and quite exciting. For Easter we bought each other little presents, he got me the sixth season of Curb Your Enthusiasm (dare I say the best show on earth?) and I bought him the first season of Flight of the Conchords, which is amazing. So we have been watching those at night and going to bed for pretend early, and eating ice cream. We are having fun amidst the craziness of life in general. We have also started going out on Sunday mornings and reading Paulo Coelho books (the alchemist and the fifth mountain) and journaling. It's nice to have our own sort of time to refocus both alone and together. 

This is a time of change for us, in a lot of areas. With me starting to feel better it changes a lot of things, life is more vivid in that there is more nuance and things to figure out, choices and plans to make. It really has been years since thing have been this good. We were walking last night and talking about how it feels like we just got married, because for so many years of our marriage time stopped. It was just about taking care of me and getting better. Now we return to that first year of marriage before I got really sick, with a newness, a new connection and growth. It's exciting and scary at the same time. But we can see each other and see our life, and we are happy.