pony

It's the third glorious dull morning of the turnaround. Poor Ron dresses in layers and leaves for work at an ungodly hour. Luckily tonight he is going to get off at normal time (fingers crossed). We are going over to the kids house tonight (aka Shannon and Kevin's) which is always fun.

I feel all stitched up and upside down like a whirligig. I feel so lost when I'm alone, pointless and unnecessary. But to keep moving forward and lulling about in a determined sort of way. Things will be ok I just need to stay strong and brave like always. I'm tired of being strong and brave, I wish I had some time to fall apart. But if I fall apart alone that will mean doomsday.

The day is crisp and icy cool and calm. The sky is rich antique blue and the pine trees are so green and thick. It's gorgeous outside. Now to just let it seep into my bones so I can enjoy it.