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Last night I dreamed I was writing, last night I dreamed a lot of things and when I woke I realized they weren't true. Today I wish I was hiding under a big flower all safe and secure and shaded from the sun.

Ron is staying home with me once again to take care of/keep an eye on me. These times are the worst/best. On the one hand I am so happy to spend time with him, on the other hand I know I am in one of my worst and darkest caves. I hate it when its doctors orders to have someone keep an eye on you, then you know you are doing really bad. Then you see the darkness crevice through your eyes like a burrowing drill.

The doctor also mentioned that he is going to change my medicine in two weeks. Back to side effects and the trial and error hypothesis of making me better, somehow I don't believe it.

I'm hoping Disneyland will be a quiet reprieve from this harsh reality. A little clean escape. Only four more days to go until we enter a fanciful dreamland of wishing wells. Wish me well.