"when you feel so tired but you can't sleep"

I've been up since seven and then up since four and et cetera, et cetera, I can't sleep. Isabelle is laying on Ron's bed pillow half under the covers thinking she looks like him when she does this, but I know all her tricks. She snores quietly thinking she is a wonderful actor.

I have been having all the songs from Sweeney Todd in my head this week. We went and saw it by ourselves late but we ended up falling asleep and each missing little bits, then to go with Josh and Shawna on Monday and it was so much better the second time. The music and colors and blood are awesome, I can't wait to get the soundtrack and Ron and I keep talking about all the interesting nuances of the story.

My Journals of Sylvia Plath; my sacred, sweet book that I am on my third or fourth time reading has broke in half today. Perhaps it's a sign from the Lord, the tearing of the life-shattered royal curtain. Oh the destruction of my apartment kingdom. Regardless I have to buy another soon, reading half a book doesn't work so well as I tried that all last year. Putting half-read books back on the shelf because I took too much time between reading is damn depressing, partly because I know I will rarely go back and start it over which promises that the story is over. The girl in Daniel Deronda is forever in her river-soaked dress in the living room drinking tea, The Brother's Karamazov are still in there own philosophical gospel and I will never know what happens. The books are locked and frozen shut. 

And now to today. To my second day of no more soul-stitching feel better medicine. I had a reaction and am still slurring my speech a bit and having my teeth chatter quickly and uncontrollably. The sad thing is that was the first medicine I have responded to in six months of being on medication (with every two weeks changing the dose or the medicine itself), that is a lot of drugs but now that I have had this reaction I can't try anymore of this class of medication because I will have the same reaction to all of them. So now the search continues.