Missing!

One yellow puffer fish! This was one of Isabelle's first toys and it has gone missing. She loves to suck on it and fall asleep doing a little paw dance. We like to call this habit of hers "puffing" since, after all, he is a puffer fish. If you spot him in the ice cream shop or Neiman Marcus please promptly return him to this lonely little puppy.

I am in the office with Ron since he is alone here and I was having a rotten morning. Last night we went to the Bridge (a Bible study) and I realized that I have to either decide to believe in God and figure him out, or decide to not believe and stop going to church. I decided I'm going to give him a chance and pulled out my Bible that has been on the bookshelf unread for about two years. I am going to read through the Psalms as they are full of appeals to God for strength, comfort and answers, which is what I need right now. Its hard because I am so bitter at God. I don't understand how he can let me and other people suffer so much. I feel so done with prayer and hope and the belief that he is a good god. In the same token, I can't imagine my life without him.

Today is Mike's memorial service. We couldn't attend since we are taking care of things down here. Tomorrow his daughter comes down to go to a camp for kids with skin diseases. We are going to spend some time with her. I hope I can be comforting and understanding. I just can't imagine how hard this time must be for them.