Disneyland Fun

C is for Catherine

R is for Ronald

Me and Mr. Indian are tight.

Meet Mathilda the fuzzy new addition to our family.

My narrow loss to Ron on the Buzz Lightyear ride--68700 to 75000.

Getting ready to bring the pain!

Ron is always ready.

My two Knights.

What we did a lot of--waiting in line.


We love this ride.

We took the Ferry.

"I'm on a boat motherfucker don't you ever forget it!"

Beer tasting at California Adventure. Awesome to have booze at Disneyland!

Ron nerding out playing the Star Wars game at the arcade.

I wish I took more pictures, but we were just having too much fun that I forgot to take out the camera...sigh. Now back to real life. Today to going grocery shopping and going to see Up at the movie theater.

Things I made

Here is my latest doll. The first blond and the first made almost entirely on the sewing machine. Her legs were the hardest to stuff as they are so tiny, but I was able to make her in one evening (instead of one day when I hand sew) which was nice.

I love her gingham and purple lace scarf.

Here is a little collage I made as well. It was really fun and easy to make and I framed it in a dark walnut frame which I think makes it look rather chic. All of these goodies were sent to Rachelle for her to enjoy.

I just woke from a nap at the hotel. I think we are just going to relax tonight as my feet are so sore they are not wanting to walk around much. We might go to Downtown Disney to have dinner at the ESPN Zone and watch the Lakers vs Nuggets game which I am rather excited about (go Lakers!).

We are leaving tomorrow. Its kind of sad to leave this happy place, but I am excited to get home to the dogs. I am going to make a new life plan on the way home so I can hopefully get back on track and further away from this soul rotting depression.

We are also bringing a new addition home with us, a little lamb we made at the Build A Bear Factory. Her name is Mathilda and she is wearing nothing but a pair of hello kitty slippers. Now the challenge will be keeping her from the dogs as they would love to adopt her as there new toy....

xox

As you know, we are at Disneyland. Our road trip went pretty well with a few bumps. I drove some, which I was so scared to do because I'm not very brave in the realm of driving. I found myself going 90 on the 5 and that was fun and freeing.

Speaking of driving too fast--we got a ticket! Confession: we were going 82 in a 55 zone (we thought it was 65) oops!

We arrived to an upgraded room because it is Ron's birthday and are having a great time. Yesterday we went to Disneyland (of course) and then to California Adventure. My favorite thing was riding the Hollywood Tower of Terror. I couldn't sleep last night so we are up early and ready to start our first full day of fun! Hope you are having a fun day too!

Beard(y)

Isabelle is quite beardy these days. She looks like an adorable old man and is so snuggely with her longish hair.
Tomorrow we are taking her to the groomer to get a new Summer hair-do since all this fur is much too hot for her.

Lately she has been extremely in love with her hedgehog stuffed toy which is a little too big for her to control. She loves to hold it in her mouth and do a little paw dance and then fall asleep on it like a pillow.

In other news, I'm not feeling so good today. Just down with no energy. Can't wait to get to Disneyland and take a little rest from everything that is going on. Sunday come quickly!

"I'm awake in my room"

Here is a picture of me around the same time last year at Disneyland. My hair is a lot shorter then, I was thinner, but in many ways things are the same. The biggest similarity is that I'm still struggling with my illness. Still searching for balance in a body that has gone chemically haywire.

In happier news. Today is my darlings birthday. I'm so happy he exists and was born. He is such a wonderful person. Such a joy to know. To have, to hold. He has grown so much from the boy I knew at twenty three and I am so proud of him. And he's still in love with ice cream cake (which I think is quite cute).

Now to cleaning the house up and getting ready to have lunch with my Melanie.

grey

Last night I dreamed I was writing, last night I dreamed a lot of things and when I woke I realized they weren't true. Today I wish I was hiding under a big flower all safe and secure and shaded from the sun.

Ron is staying home with me once again to take care of/keep an eye on me. These times are the worst/best. On the one hand I am so happy to spend time with him, on the other hand I know I am in one of my worst and darkest caves. I hate it when its doctors orders to have someone keep an eye on you, then you know you are doing really bad. Then you see the darkness crevice through your eyes like a burrowing drill.

The doctor also mentioned that he is going to change my medicine in two weeks. Back to side effects and the trial and error hypothesis of making me better, somehow I don't believe it.

I'm hoping Disneyland will be a quiet reprieve from this harsh reality. A little clean escape. Only four more days to go until we enter a fanciful dreamland of wishing wells. Wish me well.

Doll part three

Here is my third doll and I think she came out rather well. I used some of my leftover quilt fabric and her dress is made out of part of a cute floral handkerchief. I even gave her a little scarf with some ric rac I got from Rachelle.

Here is the group.

Cute sleepy face. Once again made with markers.

Bunches of legs.

This week is my boyfriend's birthday week so we are going to do a lot of fun things like getting an ice cream cake from Coldstone, going to see the new Terminator movie coming out on his birthday, and of course going to Disneyland in t-minus six days!

I'm doing ok overall. Melancholy and down a lot of the time but I'm hanging in. Still trying to get my life back on track from my bad cold a few weeks back. I'm finally feeling almost totally better. So to making dinner tonight (I haven't cooked in weeks) and to barreling through these paltry emotions.

a dream is a wish your heart makes

A bad day. Luckily our vacation countdown has begun.

happy-sad

Ron is teaching, the dogs are sleeping and I'm here in my pjs quietly contemplating life. I have some very serious lingering questions, to note a few:

• Why am I here?
• Why am I sick?
• Why are there so many people hurting in the world?
• Why do you seem so far away?
• Why is it so hard to get through the day?
  

I prod, ponder and pummel, with few answers as of yet. First, I am here for Ronald. Second, I don't know why I'm sick. Third, because of the fall of man. Fourth because he is God and damn mysterious. Fifth, because I'm sick. Those are all the answers I have and I keep holding on.

I am happy about the following things:

• His soft skin
• Silly puppies
• Good friends
• Fabric and dolls and creativity
• Gorgeous flowers inside and outside the house
• The thought that maybe God is out there somewhere
• Disneyland
• Fresh strawberries in the new fridge
  

Another doll

Here is my second doll. Her shiny silver dress makes her look ready to go into outer space. Sadly, I don't think she can make the next NASA mission. She is quite (quite) wonky as I made the following mistakes:

a. sewed her arms on upside down (woops!)
b. used blue thread on her soft pink skin that is too contrasting and shows up every uneven
stitch.
c. the pink fabric was too fragile and tore a bunch in her arms and legs.

I do like her hair and face though.

I'm feeling ok these days. A little less depressed now that I can get up and get around since I'm not sick anymore. I have to admit, the idea of our Disneyland trip is really keeping me going, which is a good thing (thank you Martha Stewart). I also have some wonderful friends who spend lots of time with me and even send me care packages! I got the most adorable box of goodies from Rachelle including a bag that is so chic and just my style. I am rather, very, very spoiled and lucky.

George Bush State

We just got back from Yosemite this afternoon. We were there because Ron had to teach a class so we got to stay one night. Luckily we got there a little early yesterday so we were able to walk near one of the waterfalls. This is a picture from near the waterfall, we both got so wet and the wind and water were so strong it took our breath away, seriously we couldn't breath when we faced the waterfall, it was amazing!
Half dome is so cute.

I loved this sign!

Me getting squished.

A stone wall.
It was a beautiful day.

Ron reading the interesting factoids.

The same waterfall we saw close up from far away.

Blossoming Dogwood trees.

While we were driving Ron and I had lots of time to talk. We made up some inside jokes and talked about God and life a lot. Seeing the violence and beauty of nature really affected both of us (in a good way). We talked a lot about how we respond to God and who we think he is. Being in Yosemite made us both feel so small and minuscule, then again, if God can create such a beautiful place in nature, what can he do with us? In many ways, I'm encouraged.

New shoes and a weird day

I just ordered some Toms from Amazon. They will be so comfy for Disneyland. Toms is a cool company as when you buy a pair of shoes they give a pair to a child in need. I love the understated pink and how they look like slippers.

Its a weird day. I'm not feeling sick necessarily just rundown and exhausted. I've already taken a nap but that didn't seem to help. Oh I am so spoiled with my naps, so lucky to not have to work, So unlucky in my hard time. I think I will work on making another doll today, they will be quite a cute pair.

xoxo

Gidget

Here is my black apple doll. She was really fun and easy to make as the instructions were so simple and clear.

I used vintage fabric from Shannon and for the face I just used fine point markers after testing them on another piece of fabric. I'm already excited to make another one!

Now she is resting on the mantle next to Mother Mary (she is feeling quite holy by association) silly girl...

The coffee table is full of pills. All my antidepressants mingled with sudafed and ibuprofen for my earache. Oh how I hate taking so many pills, and oh how I need them.

Next week we are going to Yosemite overnight for Ron to teach a class. I can't wait to go and take pictures and act like a settler.

Wish me luck today as I have a lot to do...xox

On a roll

I'm taking a quick break from cleaning as the Orkin man is here giving our house a termite inspection. Its a little embarrassing watching him walk through our backyard amongst weeds as tall as me, but Ron continually reminds me its just a termite inspector...he says "imagine John Goodman in Arachnophobia."

In other news I am doing some blog purging today. I deleted about ten to fifteen blogs I usually read every day that I'm not absolutely in love with. It was hard, but less time on the computer reading about other peoples lives instead of living my own is a good thing I think.

Next to cleaning the disaster of a bedroom and rounding up the dust bunnies throughout the house.

Bootstraps

I've stopped writing. I used to write fifteen hundred words a day. I'm too busy and too down to write these days. I haven't written at all this year and that is horribly disappointing. I need to start again but I'm scared; scared of realizing I've finally lost my tiny little shred of talent, scared of failing.

Therapy was hard yesterday. I kicked off my shoes, snuggled up on the couch and cried and complained. I cried in the car on the way home. Once home I slept for hours. Last evening we went for a walk and that helped, being out and seeing there is still a world humming along with or without me.

Today is cleaning day. Wish me luck.