Sunday, October 5, 2008

Blue Sunday

Depressed this morning, hopefully the pills will kick in soon to give me a manageable day. We are getting ready to play poker at some casino, I can't remember the name. It should be good. I think I'm going to wear my boots today and dress girly, the more girly the more I can make them believe I don't know what I'm doing. To bad I'm a tough cookie and not sweet and flirtatious, all these things rack up like dollar signs. So easy to take advantage of susceptibilities. I'm not so good at it though, to shy and somewhat genuine and open booked.

But this morning I'm tired and down, down, down in the black pit of raven wood horror. I'm stuck in the crevice. The monster smacks its lips at me, ready to tear me apart. And I'm trapped and oh so used up to fight it.

We took Isabelle for a walk this morning. the streets were lined with water from the melting frost and sprinklers so she left little wet paw prints everywhere she went like a secret code, a path to home. Now she is happy and running about the apartment like a robot.

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